Chapter Five

It's recess Alberto tries to explain to me how Jesus saves lives. He tells me there are souls and sinners and a talking serpent, and it all begins with Adam and Eve.

“So, you’re saying that everyone was expelled from paradise because Eve told Adam to eat the forbidden fruit and he did?” I ask him.

“Something like that,” he says.

“Is that fair?” I ask. “How come everyone gets punished for a bad thing that two people did?”

“God works in mysterious ways,” he says.

“That’s very, very mysterious,” I say and ask him about the Jesus part.

“Well, Jesus saved the sinners by dying on the cross,” Alberto says.

“How’d that happen?” I ask.

“God works in mysterious ways,” he says.

“So, he’s dead?” I ask.

“No, he was alive again three days after he was dead,” he says.

“You mean, like a zombie?” I ask.

“Sort of, but he wasn’t gray and ugly like other zombies.” Alberto says, “And then he went to heaven.”

“But earlier you said that heaven was for dead people,” I say.

“It’s very mysterious,” he says.

“Wait, if Catholics, like you, were already saved when Jesus died on the cross, why’d you have to do all those other things like church and confession?” I ask.

“Because if you didn’t, you’d go to hell,” says Alberto.

“If you could still go to hell, then that means you’re not saved yet, right?” I ask.

“I don’t know. God works in mysterious ways,” Alberto says.

“So Jesus is God’s son, but he’s also God, and he’s also a spirit. He went to Earth to save us by dying. He died and was alive again. But he decided to live in a place for dead people anyway. When he died, we were all saved from sin, but not from hell, because we can still go to hell if we didn’t go to church… which means that we’re, sort of, not saved at all. This is all very confusing,” I say.

“You bet,” Alberto agrees.

“What’s the deal with Satan?” I ask.

“I don’t know. He’s a jerk, I guess,” says Alberto.

“But if your God made everything, doesn’t that mean that he made Satan too?” I ask.

“Why would he do such a thing?” asks Alberto.

“I don’t know. I’m asking you,” I say.

“God works in mysterious ways,” he says.

“But what does the Bible say about it?” I ask.

“I don’t know. I’ve never read it,” Alberto says.

“But you told me earlier that Catholics had to believe in the Bible,” I say.

“Yeah, but no one said that Catholics had to read it,” Alberto says, "You can't eat your cake and have it too."

"I don't know what that means, Alberto," I tell him.

"Neither do I," he says and takes a bite of his burger. "It's a mystery. Life is full of mysteries."